No She didn't!!

Every morning I drop my 1st grader off at school, normally I’m so early, I can stop right in front of the gym to let her out. At a certain time the traffic monitors come out and wave traffic to the end of the school drive way, because of the busy morning drop off traffic.

So this morning, as I pulled up, I stopped in front of the gym like always, the traffic monitors just started to wave the cars to the end of the drive way. I had already stopped at the gym entrance, as I looked up, I saw a heavy set lady waving her right hand and pointing with her left for me to move forward, as my daughter was getting out of the car. My baby jumped out the car very quickly. As I drove forward I looked in my rear view mirror and that same woman pointing at my daughter, not smiling, and telling her something. I immediately stopped my car, jumped out and begin walking in her direction, pointing at her and saying, “What did you just tell my daughter?” At first, she still had that nasty look on her face, but as I got closer she said, “I just told her to tell Mommy to drive forward.” Her facial expression soon changed from nasty to a “please don’t jump on me” look. I replied, in a low tone, but looking right into her eyes; about 5 feet away and still pointing, “Don’t take that up with her, she’s sensitive. You take that up with me”. Turned my back and sache’ myself back to the car.

At first I didn’t think I did anything wrong. I was protecting my child. As a Mother bear is with her cubs. I can justify this behavior, right? I have to do this, she’s my baby and if I don’t protect her and keep her from the wolves, who will? She had no right pointing at my daughter.

You guessed it, as soon as I shut the door to my car, the spirit of God said to me in a loving voice, “No, sweet heart”.

Romans 12:19
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God's] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord.

For the next 20 minutes driving to work all I could think about was that woman. I felt bad. I could have handled it different. What I said, no matter how right I thought I was, it affected someone else’s day. I didn’t want this person to take her frustration out on another child or co – worker, because of my emotional reaction. At the end of the day, we must recognize that our words are real and manifest good and bad reactions. When God is in you, it’s hard to stay mad at anyone. He’s in me, love is in me.

I had to fix it, my sister told me one night ministering to each other, “It’s easy to teach it and preach, but can you do it?” That’s the question, and if God is in you… (You know the rest)…who can be against me?

As soon as I got to work, I called the school, I didn’t even know the lady’s name, but there was another woman out there I did know, so I requested to go to her voice mail, and left a detail message of the event and asked for her to forward the message to this woman, the message went some what like this. “I’m sorry for my reaction this morning, and there was no excuse. I hope that I didn’t plant any negative seeds or affected your day with bad energy. Please make today a great day.”

I pray this one positive action will do so much more then a negative action. Some may say, whatever, I didn’t see anything wrong with it, but the closer you are to God, the more you start to operate in love, his love. I know God is in me. I pray that just as people can see me physically and say, “She’s in shape”, that they will say, “She’s in God”, by seeing it by my fruit, not just my words.

John 15 :7-8
If you live in Me [abide vitally united to Me] and My words remain in you and continue to live in your hearts, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. When you bear (produce) much fruit, My Father is honored and glorified, and you show and prove yourselves to be true followers of Mine.

Let It Go!!

“I was doing my own thang, just walking down the hall, and out of the blue, hear comes loud mouth Tommy. He just had to put me on blast about not having any lotion on my legs. I know I ain’t got no lotion on my legs, I was rushin’ this morning, shoot! I have some at my desk; in fact, I was on my way to do it before he said something. Besides, look at him with his big nose having self, always got something to say……”

We all have been guilty of being offended and acting this way. Come on, be honest. Let’s talk about what really happened in this example, your feelings got hurt. So, you got offended and justified why you went off, about what Tommy said to you, because he embarrassed you!

Question, does it really matter? Is what they did or said really valid? Maybe, it's just my opinion? Lets hear what the Word has to say about it, the truth.

Philippians 1:10
So that you may surely learn to sense what is vital, and approve and prize what is excellent and of real value [recognizing the highest and the best, and distinguishing the moral differences], and that you may be untainted and pure and unerring and blameless [so that with hearts sincere and certain and unsullied, you may approach] the day of Christ [not stumbling nor causing others to stumble].

What are “Haters”? Haters are people who hate on your success; because they don’t believe they can have success themselves. So when they talk about you, and “offend” you, hurt your feeling, discourage you, tell you that you will never become a millionaire, or your always going to be trouble just like _____.

You have the right to NOT get offended. And use that “offence” as fuel for your destiny. The enemy uses offences to plant negative thoughts your in mind, to get you off focus of reaching your dream. It doesn’t matter! Shake it off! Don’t entertain it! Keep it movin’!

Offences stop your love walk. Remember God is love. There is power in LOVE. So if the enemy can detract you with offences, it also causes temptations to come into your mind that are not of God, which causes a multitude of negative reactions, unforgiveness, bitterness, anxiety, stress, and list goes on and on.

Matthew 18:7
“What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting.

Don’t allow the birds to detract you from the vision. Don’t allow it from stopping you from forgiving. The level of your FAITH is the level of your Forgiveness. If you’re choosing to hold on to pain, that someone has caused you. You’re choosing to say, I don’t believe God can fill this void of pain. Or I don’t believe this person deserves to be forgiven.

Sweetie, “News Alert” that other person doesn’t care! If they cared about you they would have came and fixed it a long time about! Or maybe, they don't even realize they hurt you. Please hear me when I say this, it’s not about the other person, it’s about YOU and YOUR relationship with God. The Word says that he forgives you, as you forgive others. Let it go…stay grounded in the Word, so that when offence comes your way, and it will. You can keep your love walk, which is the power of God, the power of LOVE.

Mark 11:25(AMP)
And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop.

The Blue Print

“The poorest person in the world isn’t the one without a nickel, but the one without a dream” Jesse Dulicpaints.

Why do you think God give us imagination? Let’s go to the beginning, Genesis 1:26-28 In Genesis 1:26-28: Then God said “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.” ....“Us”, this is God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus discussing a vision.

The “act” takes place in verse 27. "So God created humankind in his image, in the image God he created them; male and female he created them."

And last, he prophesies over his vision and act in verse 28. "God blessed them, and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over every living thing that moves upon the earth."

Look at the blue print God has given us.

First we SEE our vision by using our imagination

---Imagination- the act or power of forming mental image of something not present to the senses.

Second we act toward the VISION

---Act - a state of real existence rather than possibility

Third we SPEAK life into the vision, expecting it to manifest

---Manifestation- a perceptible outward, visible expression, or materialization and (my favorite) a public demonstration of power and purpose

Now, understand our imagination is very powerful; you can create negative outcomes into your life, just as strong as positive ones. Think about it, everything you do first starts out in a thought. Before you picked up the phone, you THOUGHT about who you were going to call. Before you got dressed today, you THOUGHT about what to put on. Everything starts with a thought, a vision. You can control your actions and your destiny by controlling your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:9
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome

Tap into the thoughts of God. Allow him to show you his THOUHTS for your life, by using your imagination. Ask God to show you his will, get into the Word for your self. See the vision, act on it, and begin to prophesy over the manifestation.

We have the keys to success by God who is in us; we just have to be able to recognize it and put it in our basket.

Balance

I started this journey about three years ago, of living my life stronger physically, mentally, and spiritually. Making all three a priority in my life, for year’s one out of the three, has always been absent. In 2006 preparing for my first figure completion, Heart of Texas, I discovered my passion, living a healthy life and encouraging others to do the same. At first it was just thought; “Let’s see what my body will look like, if you really pushed it to the limit.” It was suppose to be only a physical challenge, but it turned out to be much greater then that. It changed me physically, but more mentally and spiritually.

Some may be thinking, “Mentally and spiritually, how so? Throughout this reading, please understand that when you’re trying to accomplish everything in life; it can be something as small as cleaning up your house or as large as trying to lose 100 pounds, maybe getting that promotion at your job; distractions and obstacles are always going to be present, the key is knowing how to conquer, those obstacles.

I heard once, that you can’t control the birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from building a nest on your head. I look at these birds, as the distractions we all encounter in our everyday lives. Have you ever notice a group of birds dancing in the sky? It’s so beautiful; it can draw your full attention; you find yourself getting lost in time as they gracefully move in sequence in the sky to an unknown tone. Distractions do this; they amuse us or cause us to loss focus on what’s truly important. They camouflage themselves as the priority; don’t be fooled.

Throughout life we all have heard so many stories of dreams never coming to pass. Life passions never pursued due to unexplained obstacles out of their control. These stories bring tears to my soul, knowing, this person hit a barrier and just didn’t know or have the tools to get around it, which prevented them from accomplishing their dreams or maybe not becoming all they were sent here to be.

In life, I realize, with success you learn very little, but with each failure, you learn a lot more. This is where the warriors are made, in the battle.

I used to be afraid to discuss my past war wounds. Now I wear them as a crown. If I had a jewel for every battle I won, the Queen of England would envy me. I’m sure hundreds maybe even thousands of people can say that they have been lied on, beaten, betrayed, or felt alone, maybe let down, and unloved. How many can say that they have conquered all of this and stand here today, not bitter, with no scars, forgiving everyone who every came against them, with open arms ready to love again; I can.

Oh no, it wasn’t easy; in fact, I still work on it daily. But you see; I’m a solider in this war in deed. But I’ve learned to become the Lieutenant General in my army and only God is my Major. What I mean is that, I control my feelings and only I can control who comes in my life. If for some reason, an uncontrolled event takes place that I have no control over. It’s okay; I can still control my reactions. Understand, you can’t control everyone or everything, but you can choose whatever action you take during that crisis in your life. You can’t always foresee the outcome or the circumstances of your actions, so choose them wisely.

I couldn’t control who my father married after my mother’s passing. I was only six when he remarried. I couldn’t even control my feelings or reactions to any events in my life at that young of an age. Unfortunately, at the age of six is where my war begins; this fight was physical, mental, and thank God spiritual.

In order for me to go any further it’s imperative that you understand what spiritual battle is. You have to know that the spiritual world is more real then you reading these pages before you, I look forward to explaining it in detail very soon, but until then please keep the birds out of your head and your eyes in the Word, so you can recognize his voice.

Maintaining Your Garden

When spring comes around you can’t miss the state flower of Texas, the Blue Bonnet, there everywhere, the side of the road, in your yard, they can even pop up in your personal garden. I’m not originally from Texas, so I asked a dumb question, “Are these Blue bonnets weeds?” The answer is yes, they are weeds, but because they look so pretty and bloom during a certain season, a lot people don’t look at them as “weeds”. Isn’t that odd? They choose a weed as a state “flower”. I did some research on gardening, I don’t have a “green tomb” in the natural, but I do now, in the spiritually realm.

I learned that weeds are so tough and fast – growing, they can easily, out- grow desirable plants, if you don’t take control. There is nothing good about weeds, their purpose is to come in and take over your healthy plants in the garden.

Weeds are buried several inches deep, there isn’t enough light for germination, but as soon as you dig up the soil, their seeds come to the surface and sprout. Because grass and perennial weeds can re- grow from small pieces of root to stem left in the ground, as well as seeds. It’s best to remove sod and then turn the soil over with a digging fork, breaking up the colds of soil and removing all the roots you find.

I’m going to be totally transparent right now, for years I had people walking in my garden planting weeds and I had no idea. Every time I started to grow spiritually a blue bonnet would come to the surface and sprout. Just as in the natural, it looked so attractive; I couldn’t see it for what it really was a weed in disguise. Looking back, at all of my relationships in the past, I had a lot of blue bonnets in my garden.

The relationships would be great, so I thought, until I decided to put God first in my life and live by His word, not my flesh. I had to make a decision, follow my flesh (keep my man) or God. This decision wasn’t easy at the time, or even now, (ask someone who’s trying to stop smoking...) more than once I was in love with someone and had to make this decision to leave or to stay. Emotionally, it was to hard handle and I would choose my flesh every time.

The weeds took over my life and I didn’t understand why I was going through so much pain, emotionally, mentally, and even financially. I would get so caught up in my relationship and living in the world, I forgot God. It didn’t matter that I was going to church every Sunday, or prayed when I needed something from God. (Come on; don’t get righteous on me, you know what I’m saying) I wasn’t happy and honestly blind from the truth. I know the truth now, because God wasn’t running my life back then, I was.(So I thought) I did, what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and had enough nerve to ask God to help me get out of the mess, I created. (Thank you for your mercy and grace)

I wasn’t living my life for God. I only dealt with Him when it was convenient for me. I never fully turned away from my sins, I camouflaged it well, but God knows the truth. When I would get tired of sin, I tried to plant a healthy seed in the same soil that wasn’t turned over and the weeds were taking over my garden immediately.


The relationships wouldn’t last long, after a few months; I would ask God for forgiveness, 6 to 8 months later, the cycle would happen again. Why couldn’t I recognize it? Why was it so hard to choose God over my flesh? I loved God, but apparently my actions showed different. What was I doing wrong?

I got it, it was because I wasn’t killing the weeds at the roots, just like controlling weeds in the natural, never just only cut the top of the weedy or grassy area off, because the weeds can grow back and multiply.

I’ve learned. I have to plow my garden daily, to maintain healthy soil; otherwise good seed can’t mature and grow. Where do you get good seeds, I’m glad you asked; from the word of God, reading it, listening to it, watching it, being around positive people with something good to say. This is the same way weeds enter into your garden. Pay attention to your surrounding and people you entertain, they are walking in your garden planting seeds, whether you realize it or not.

The Conductor

I have a great advantage in my life; I can recognize God’s voice. It was strange at first because I wasn’t sure what I was hearing. But it was God’s voice all along; I just didn’t know how to recognize it. I do now and it is like falling in love with your best friend after 10 years of dating unqualified candidates. Finally, one day you'll wake up knowing without a single doubt in your mind, that this is the one for you, saying to yourself, “I don’t want to go another day without this person beside me.” Then reflecting back on the last 10 years of your life acknowledging that this person was there the whole time. They were supporting and loving you only wanting the best for you. You were just too blind to see it, or should I say, distracted by all the birds.

Thinking back on the first time I heard God’s voice, I was around 10 or 11 years old. I didn’t know what I heard at the time, it was very clear and it gave me a sense of peace. I had just gotten hit for something small I did by my step-mother, (that happen often) I can’t even remember what it was about or maybe I can’t recall it, because it happen all the time. Whatever the reason, I do remember walking up the stairs and a voice went off in my mind, “you’re going to get a scholarship and get away from here... don’t worry about it."

I stopped crying right away. I remember it so clear, because I didn’t even know what a scholarship was. I was made to feel so inadequate about my reading and writing abilities that I never challenged myself in that area. That day without question I believed what I heard, I grab that thought and put it in my "mental basket." God began to place teaches, coaches, and strangers in my life that saw my gifts. Little pearls of wisdom came at just the right time. From that point on, his voice become clearer, however I didn’t hear it very often, but when it came I recognized it and I listened.

I look back and see how God orchestrated events in my life. God orchestrated my path as the conductor would an orchestra. Just as a conductor of an orchestra must become intimately familiar with all of the musical pieces selected for the upcoming performance season. While an individual musician only rehearse part of a musical score, the conductor of an orchestra must learn the entire score. The conductor of an orchestra functions as a traffic director for the various sections, so he or she must know precisely when each instrument enters the musical highway.

Every event that is happening in my life now and to come, he already knows. I am the musician in the symphony learning my piece. I'm waiting for the right cue, listening to the tempo change and dynamics, and watching each arm movement to indicate the first beat of a measure. I pay attention to each sweep of his arm from right to left to indicate the second, third or possibly fourth beats; from the conductor, God.

We have to learn to be just as attentive to God’s voice, recognizing each movement knowing when to be still and when to move. Making the right decisions based on God’s arm movements. Allow God to harmonize every sound that will create to life long master-piece. Looking back can be a very illuminating experience, as watching a live orchestra can provide interesting clues into the ways that the different sections work with each other. So can looking at God in hindsight.

Why I'm sinlge?

Why I’m single.

I trust God.

Trust is defined as – confidence in expectation, assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, one in which confidence is placed

Because I know that I’m human, and can be lead by emotions or what I think is best for me. I chose to TRUST God, and wait for him to send me my mate. Considering he knows my future, he knows what emotional and mental needs I need. My thinking is, why not wait on him? I only know what I feel today, and what I went through in the past, I have an idea of what qualities I want in a man, but it’s best to wait on God. I don’t know what my future holds; I can’t tell you how my behavior will be in next week, then in two years. Only God knows that, it would be wise to focus on God. What I can do in the meantime is work on preparing me to become to better woman, mother, friend, and future wife. In turn God will work on my future mate. He has the perfect mate to complement me in every area of my life.

When you first meet someone, you meet their representative, the person they want you to see. The closer you are too God, the more the devil sends them in disguise. You must remember the devils knows the bible too, and can quote to word of God with the best of them. I recommend, you look at the fruit people bear and study to word for yourself. Look at there walk, what words are coming out of there mouth. Do they complain about everything they encounter? Are they negative about the small things? My favorite is the ones who ask to help out, and than complain about it. Or they complain about how everyone wants them to do everything, but if you don’t ask them, then their feeling get hurt (can’t win for losing).

My reason behind bringing this up, is in the beginning no one is going to tell you the truth about themselves. No one is going to tell you the truth and say, “…by the way I’m 40 and I live at home with my parents, because I’m afraid of failure and have codependences issues, and my goal is to have you and everyone else new that comes around, enable me just like everyone else in my past has, and oh yeah, can I borrow $300.” Lol….sorry it’s not that easy; lets be honest.

I don’t feel in my heart, all men or women knowing enter a relationship hoping to use the other person, yes there are bad spirits out there, but the majority of the time we aren’t even aware of our issues. We are so good at wearing musk and camouflaging our pains. We can’t even recognize ourselves in the mirror.

James writes… why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James4-14NIV)

Do you even know how you got there you are today? Three, five, ten years has past and you look back and say, “What happen?” Time is what happens, it doesn’t wait on you. It seems just like yesterday you started that job and now 10 years had pass and your still at the same level or not where you really want to be. Or you look at your life and you, think, “Is this it?” Just going thru mentions in time, are you progressing or existing? You wonder why you’re depressed.

The more I get closer to God, the more I learn to desire a relationship with God more then with man. I know it sounds off the wall, but it’s true because I have a feeling of expectancy, I know that God has a perfect mate just for me, to complement me in everyway. Where I’m weak, he’s strong. He’s patience, and understanding, attractive to the eye physically. He loves God more than his self, more than me and his family. And when he sees me, his physical eye won’t lead, his spiritual eye will. He will know. Everyone around us will know. Without any doubt; this couple was created by God. Not through their own lust or ideas, but through there obedience. Balance spiritually, mentally, and physically. So now do you know why I’m single?