I have a great advantage in my life; I can recognize God’s voice. It was strange at first because I wasn’t sure what I was hearing. But it was God’s voice all along; I just didn’t know how to recognize it. I do now and it is like falling in love with your best friend after 10 years of dating unqualified candidates. Finally, one day you'll wake up knowing without a single doubt in your mind, that this is the one for you, saying to yourself, “I don’t want to go another day without this person beside me.” Then reflecting back on the last 10 years of your life acknowledging that this person was there the whole time. They were supporting and loving you only wanting the best for you. You were just too blind to see it, or should I say, distracted by all the birds.
Thinking back on the first time I heard God’s voice, I was around 10 or 11 years old. I didn’t know what I heard at the time, it was very clear and it gave me a sense of peace. I had just gotten hit for something small I did by my step-mother, (that happen often) I can’t even remember what it was about or maybe I can’t recall it, because it happen all the time. Whatever the reason, I do remember walking up the stairs and a voice went off in my mind, “you’re going to get a scholarship and get away from here... don’t worry about it."
I stopped crying right away. I remember it so clear, because I didn’t even know what a scholarship was. I was made to feel so inadequate about my reading and writing abilities that I never challenged myself in that area. That day without question I believed what I heard, I grab that thought and put it in my "mental basket." God began to place teaches, coaches, and strangers in my life that saw my gifts. Little pearls of wisdom came at just the right time. From that point on, his voice become clearer, however I didn’t hear it very often, but when it came I recognized it and I listened.
I look back and see how God orchestrated events in my life. God orchestrated my path as the conductor would an orchestra. Just as a conductor of an orchestra must become intimately familiar with all of the musical pieces selected for the upcoming performance season. While an individual musician only rehearse part of a musical score, the conductor of an orchestra must learn the entire score. The conductor of an orchestra functions as a traffic director for the various sections, so he or she must know precisely when each instrument enters the musical highway.
Every event that is happening in my life now and to come, he already knows. I am the musician in the symphony learning my piece. I'm waiting for the right cue, listening to the tempo change and dynamics, and watching each arm movement to indicate the first beat of a measure. I pay attention to each sweep of his arm from right to left to indicate the second, third or possibly fourth beats; from the conductor, God.
We have to learn to be just as attentive to God’s voice, recognizing each movement knowing when to be still and when to move. Making the right decisions based on God’s arm movements. Allow God to harmonize every sound that will create to life long master-piece. Looking back can be a very illuminating experience, as watching a live orchestra can provide interesting clues into the ways that the different sections work with each other. So can looking at God in hindsight.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Why I'm sinlge?
Why I’m single.
I trust God.
Trust is defined as – confidence in expectation, assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, one in which confidence is placed
Because I know that I’m human, and can be lead by emotions or what I think is best for me. I chose to TRUST God, and wait for him to send me my mate. Considering he knows my future, he knows what emotional and mental needs I need. My thinking is, why not wait on him? I only know what I feel today, and what I went through in the past, I have an idea of what qualities I want in a man, but it’s best to wait on God. I don’t know what my future holds; I can’t tell you how my behavior will be in next week, then in two years. Only God knows that, it would be wise to focus on God. What I can do in the meantime is work on preparing me to become to better woman, mother, friend, and future wife. In turn God will work on my future mate. He has the perfect mate to complement me in every area of my life.
When you first meet someone, you meet their representative, the person they want you to see. The closer you are too God, the more the devil sends them in disguise. You must remember the devils knows the bible too, and can quote to word of God with the best of them. I recommend, you look at the fruit people bear and study to word for yourself. Look at there walk, what words are coming out of there mouth. Do they complain about everything they encounter? Are they negative about the small things? My favorite is the ones who ask to help out, and than complain about it. Or they complain about how everyone wants them to do everything, but if you don’t ask them, then their feeling get hurt (can’t win for losing).
My reason behind bringing this up, is in the beginning no one is going to tell you the truth about themselves. No one is going to tell you the truth and say, “…by the way I’m 40 and I live at home with my parents, because I’m afraid of failure and have codependences issues, and my goal is to have you and everyone else new that comes around, enable me just like everyone else in my past has, and oh yeah, can I borrow $300.” Lol….sorry it’s not that easy; lets be honest.
I don’t feel in my heart, all men or women knowing enter a relationship hoping to use the other person, yes there are bad spirits out there, but the majority of the time we aren’t even aware of our issues. We are so good at wearing musk and camouflaging our pains. We can’t even recognize ourselves in the mirror.
James writes… why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James4-14NIV)
Do you even know how you got there you are today? Three, five, ten years has past and you look back and say, “What happen?” Time is what happens, it doesn’t wait on you. It seems just like yesterday you started that job and now 10 years had pass and your still at the same level or not where you really want to be. Or you look at your life and you, think, “Is this it?” Just going thru mentions in time, are you progressing or existing? You wonder why you’re depressed.
The more I get closer to God, the more I learn to desire a relationship with God more then with man. I know it sounds off the wall, but it’s true because I have a feeling of expectancy, I know that God has a perfect mate just for me, to complement me in everyway. Where I’m weak, he’s strong. He’s patience, and understanding, attractive to the eye physically. He loves God more than his self, more than me and his family. And when he sees me, his physical eye won’t lead, his spiritual eye will. He will know. Everyone around us will know. Without any doubt; this couple was created by God. Not through their own lust or ideas, but through there obedience. Balance spiritually, mentally, and physically. So now do you know why I’m single?
I trust God.
Trust is defined as – confidence in expectation, assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, one in which confidence is placed
Because I know that I’m human, and can be lead by emotions or what I think is best for me. I chose to TRUST God, and wait for him to send me my mate. Considering he knows my future, he knows what emotional and mental needs I need. My thinking is, why not wait on him? I only know what I feel today, and what I went through in the past, I have an idea of what qualities I want in a man, but it’s best to wait on God. I don’t know what my future holds; I can’t tell you how my behavior will be in next week, then in two years. Only God knows that, it would be wise to focus on God. What I can do in the meantime is work on preparing me to become to better woman, mother, friend, and future wife. In turn God will work on my future mate. He has the perfect mate to complement me in every area of my life.
When you first meet someone, you meet their representative, the person they want you to see. The closer you are too God, the more the devil sends them in disguise. You must remember the devils knows the bible too, and can quote to word of God with the best of them. I recommend, you look at the fruit people bear and study to word for yourself. Look at there walk, what words are coming out of there mouth. Do they complain about everything they encounter? Are they negative about the small things? My favorite is the ones who ask to help out, and than complain about it. Or they complain about how everyone wants them to do everything, but if you don’t ask them, then their feeling get hurt (can’t win for losing).
My reason behind bringing this up, is in the beginning no one is going to tell you the truth about themselves. No one is going to tell you the truth and say, “…by the way I’m 40 and I live at home with my parents, because I’m afraid of failure and have codependences issues, and my goal is to have you and everyone else new that comes around, enable me just like everyone else in my past has, and oh yeah, can I borrow $300.” Lol….sorry it’s not that easy; lets be honest.
I don’t feel in my heart, all men or women knowing enter a relationship hoping to use the other person, yes there are bad spirits out there, but the majority of the time we aren’t even aware of our issues. We are so good at wearing musk and camouflaging our pains. We can’t even recognize ourselves in the mirror.
James writes… why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James4-14NIV)
Do you even know how you got there you are today? Three, five, ten years has past and you look back and say, “What happen?” Time is what happens, it doesn’t wait on you. It seems just like yesterday you started that job and now 10 years had pass and your still at the same level or not where you really want to be. Or you look at your life and you, think, “Is this it?” Just going thru mentions in time, are you progressing or existing? You wonder why you’re depressed.
The more I get closer to God, the more I learn to desire a relationship with God more then with man. I know it sounds off the wall, but it’s true because I have a feeling of expectancy, I know that God has a perfect mate just for me, to complement me in everyway. Where I’m weak, he’s strong. He’s patience, and understanding, attractive to the eye physically. He loves God more than his self, more than me and his family. And when he sees me, his physical eye won’t lead, his spiritual eye will. He will know. Everyone around us will know. Without any doubt; this couple was created by God. Not through their own lust or ideas, but through there obedience. Balance spiritually, mentally, and physically. So now do you know why I’m single?
My Basket
Written May 14 2009- Today is my Mommy's birthday. I was okay until one of my sisters (Towana) called me this morning. It's not just that it's her birthday and I wish she was still here. It's acknowledging that because of this woman's faith, I exist. She looked pasted all medical understanding and was healed and gave birth to me. How amazing is she. How amazing am I?
I remember my last birthday with her, my fourth. My sister this morning recalled it with me. We had just left the doctors' office and she received some very bad news, so bad that she didn't tell my oldest sister. She told Towana to stop at the store; she wanted to get me something for my birthday. Now understand that Mom had rules; when she said get what you want, that meant get one thing, on a good day, maybe two. But this day she said, "Mandy, get whatever you want." I put one thing in the basket. Not really knowing what she meant. She said, "No baby, you get whatever you want," and she started grabbing everything and putting that in the basket. My sister and I were stocked knowing that this behavior was not normal. My Mom knew it was her last birthday with me, she pasted the next month.
I live my life now grabbing everything that is pure and that is from God, all my desires in my heart, all my dreams and visions and putting them into my basket. Claiming and demanding everything that I want in life and making it come to past, living by the same faith which allowed me to exist today.
I cry, not because I wish to hug her and look into her eyes. I cry, because I thank her. For loving God, trusting God, and teaching me what faith really means. She hasn't physically been in my life for all 30 years, but in only four years she planted so many seeds in good soil, that when the enemy tried to kill me, physically, mentally and spiritually. He couldn't do it. Those seeds were rooted in good ground. They grew to harvest the kind of harvest that will feed millions. It has allowed me to become the woman that I am today.
How do you thank someone for giving you life? I say, by living yours to highest possible level that only God can understand, not man. And never... stop putting things in your basket.
I remember my last birthday with her, my fourth. My sister this morning recalled it with me. We had just left the doctors' office and she received some very bad news, so bad that she didn't tell my oldest sister. She told Towana to stop at the store; she wanted to get me something for my birthday. Now understand that Mom had rules; when she said get what you want, that meant get one thing, on a good day, maybe two. But this day she said, "Mandy, get whatever you want." I put one thing in the basket. Not really knowing what she meant. She said, "No baby, you get whatever you want," and she started grabbing everything and putting that in the basket. My sister and I were stocked knowing that this behavior was not normal. My Mom knew it was her last birthday with me, she pasted the next month.
I live my life now grabbing everything that is pure and that is from God, all my desires in my heart, all my dreams and visions and putting them into my basket. Claiming and demanding everything that I want in life and making it come to past, living by the same faith which allowed me to exist today.
I cry, not because I wish to hug her and look into her eyes. I cry, because I thank her. For loving God, trusting God, and teaching me what faith really means. She hasn't physically been in my life for all 30 years, but in only four years she planted so many seeds in good soil, that when the enemy tried to kill me, physically, mentally and spiritually. He couldn't do it. Those seeds were rooted in good ground. They grew to harvest the kind of harvest that will feed millions. It has allowed me to become the woman that I am today.
How do you thank someone for giving you life? I say, by living yours to highest possible level that only God can understand, not man. And never... stop putting things in your basket.
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